Grief Works FAQs

What is grief? 

Grief is the internal process of adjusting to the loss or death of someone we care deeply for. It can be chaotic, disorienting, and deeply painful, but it’s also uniquely personal. Some people feel numbness, others feel intense sadness, anger, or anxiety. Grief can affect your body too, with symptoms like fatigue, sleeplessness, changes in appetite, nausea, or even physical tension. There’s no single way to grieve and no “right” timeline. With support, grief can become a process of healing and even growth.

What are the stages of grief? 

While many people are familiar with the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—we find the Dual Process Model to be more helpful. This model, developed by Stroebe and Schut, doesn’t view grief as a straight line. Instead, it sees grief as an ongoing movement between two states:

• Loss orientation, where you fully feel and process the pain of the loss, and

• Restoration orientation, where you take intentional breaks from the grief to focus on everyday life, self-care, or soothing activities.

This natural oscillation helps you gradually adjust and build the strength to reengage with life. It’s the movement between the two that fosters resilience. 

Will grief ever go away? 

Grief doesn’t disappear, but it transforms. The sharpness of the pain can soften over time, but grief continues to shape you. Rather than “getting over it,” most people learn to carry their grief alongside their growth. You may feel triggered years later by a smell, place, or song—and that doesn’t mean you haven’t healed. It means you loved deeply. And grief, in many ways, is love with nowhere to go.

Why can’t I cry? 

Crying is one, but not the only way to express grief. Many people expect to cry after a loss, but when the tears don’t come, they worry something is wrong. The truth is, your body might be protecting you. We all have default coping responses during crisis, and one of those is shutting down emotionally to avoid overwhelm. You might be in shock, or your system may be blocking feelings until you feel safe enough to process them.

There are many valid ways to grieve. Tears might come later—or not at all. You might express grief by walking, journaling, listening to music, or just sitting quietly with your thoughts. Don’t judge yourself for not crying. Be gentle and patient with your emotions, and allow them to emerge in their own time and form. Grief is a process, not a performance.

If you need additional support, please email us at feedback@illumeapps.com or submit a ticket.